TONY' THOUGHT JOURNAL 2.0

[Tony Page]

I spent the last three days on and off trying to put together a raised bed. It's a U-shaped structure with five compartments. It contains metal panels they get bolted together their's a total of 208 screws. I would estimate this would normally take me about 4 hours to assemble. Here, I am starting on my fourth day tomorrow. Today, we got rained out, so I got no work done. I attribute my taking this much time because of my constantly feeling tired and sometimes really weak, I believe a result of medication I'm taking. Hopefully, tomorrow there'll be no rain and I'll get it done.
I can't wait to set it up and do some planting. I've never slept as much or felt this groggy most of the time. It's really depressing. I keep thinking that tomorrow I'll feel better so far it hasn't happened. I'm trying not to make how I feel stop me from doing what I have to do. Yesterday and today, I went grocery shopping. They were short trips, only three shopping bags long. I felt good completing them. My muscles get achy afterward. My wife tells me to do what I can when I'm up to it or do nothing. I appreciate her not pushing me, I just can't sit still. All my life, I accomplished something no matter how small every day.

 

[Sheryl]

Tony, I'll tell you like my Daddy always told me. I could never keep up with the grownups and older siblings. He said, "Just do along the best you can."

If you don't get it done today, it will still be there tomorrow. Just do along the best you can. For sure, ain't nobody gon' do it for you.

 

[Tony Page]

As some of you know from a prior forum, I write poems. I don't consider myself a poet, I know nothing about how to write a proper poem. I did not care to learn about a noun or a pronoun or correct punctuation when in school. The same goes for writing, I just didn't pay attention.

Subjects / ideas just pop into my head in rhyme and rhythm. It can happen at any time while I sleep, drive, or eat. Once it starts, I feel compelled to write the words down.

A few days ago, a poem popped into my head just before I was heading to sleep. I wrote about half of it, and I was too tired to finish. I finish it tonight. It may not be the kind some people like, but here it is.


PRESCRIPTION FOR LIFE

I was walking down the street
Who should I meet?
A person I haven't seen in years
He was one of my peers
Can't call him a friend
We fought a lot back then
He greeted me with such a smile
The kind you get from your child
He said, "How have you been?"
I said "ok" with a grin
He said, "You're looking fine."
"lets catch-up we'll dine,"
At first, I thought no, we had nothing to talk about
However, I said yes, I had doubt
We went to a diner and sat in a booth
I don't know why, but I spilled the truth
He stayed calm but listened intently
when he spoke, it was ever so gently
My words flowed like water through a broken pipe
I couldn't help myself, I wasn't the type
I told him I was out for a walk to clear my head
The doctors said in 6 months I'd be dead
That there was nothing more they could do
He looked at me with an understanding, like he knew
I said I should go, I want to lay down
Thanks for listening, I'll see you around
As I was leaving, he handed me a note
I took it and slipped it into my coat
By the time I got home, I felt mentally at ease
I didn't give a dame about my disease
My wife asked where I went?
I told her how my time was spent
She didn’t know the fellow I met
Turns out he's someone I'll never forget
She asked what he had to say?
I thought he didn't have much to convey
She said whatever he said has helped you cope
I felt he had given me hope
I forgot he gave me that note
I rushed to my coat
Reading this document it contained a prayer
It showed he did care
It said - say this prayer once a day
Sounded like a prescription, I did obey
I say this prayer before I sleep, I tell you this with eyes that have tears
I've been saying this prayer for 11 years


TP
5/16/25

 

[Faye]

As some of you know from a prior forum, I write poems. I don't consider myself a poet, I know nothing about how to write a proper poem. I did not care to learn about a noun or a pronoun or correct punctuation when in school. The same goes for writing, I just didn't pay attention.

Subjects / ideas just pop into my head in rhyme and rhythm. It can happen at any time while I sleep, drive, or eat. Once it starts, I feel compelled to write the words down.

A few days ago, a poem popped into my head just before I was heading to sleep. I wrote about half of it, and I was too tired to finish. I finish it tonight. It may not be the kind some people like, but here it is.


PRESCRIPTION FOR LIFE

I was walking down the street
Who should I meet?
A person I haven't seen in years
He was one of my peers
Can't call him a friend
We fought a lot back then
He greeted me with such a smile
The kind you get from your child
He said, "How have you been?"
I said "ok" with a grin
He said, "You're looking fine."
"lets catch-up we'll dine,"
At first, I thought no, we had nothing to talk about
However, I said yes, I had doubt
We went to a diner and sat in a booth
I don't know why, but I spilled the truth
He stayed calm but listened intently
when he spoke, it was ever so gently
My words flowed like water through a broken pipe
I couldn't help myself, I wasn't the type
I told him I was out for a walk to clear my head
The doctors said in 6 months I'd be dead
That there was nothing more they could do
He looked at me with an understanding, like he knew
I said I should go, I want to lay down
Thanks for listening, I'll see you around
As I was leaving, he handed me a note
I took it and slipped it into my coat
By the time I got home, I felt mentally at ease
I didn't give a dame about my disease
My wife asked where I went?
I told her how my time was spent
She didn’t know the fellow I met
Turns out he's someone I'll never forget
She asked what he had to say?
I thought he didn't have much to convey
She said whatever he said has helped you cope
I felt he had given me hope
I forgot he gave me that note
I rushed to my coat
Reading this document it contained a prayer
It showed he did care
It said - say this prayer once a day
Sounded like a prescription, I did obey
I say this prayer before I sleep, I tell you this with eyes that have tears
I've been saying this prayer for 11 years


TP
5/16/25

That is good Tony, I like it. I had a recent poetic spurt and I wrote several new poems in the old cowboy style. I posted them on a couple of ranch forums. Your poem tells a story and for me that is the purpose. Keep it up.

 

[Tony Page]

That is good Tony, I like it. I had a recent poetic spurt and I wrote several new poems in the old cowboy style. I posted them on a couple of ranch forums. Your poem tells a story and for me that is the purpose. Keep it up.

Faye
Thank you,
I don't want to sound pushy, But I would love to read one of your poems someday, please post one.
My poems most times are triggered by something I heard, read, or felt. I think this poem, is a result of being a little down. The cancer treatment makes me tired. Sometimes I don't feel well, and I can't tell if it's from my age or the hormone treatment I'm getting. My wife is annoyed with me, because I want to stop treatment. Maybe I should write another poem.

 

[Sheryl]

Tony, that poem is very thought provoking. That's one of the things that poetry is supposed to do. You did good. It leaves me wondering what the prayer is that your friend says. My sister is a breast cancer survivor. The prayer she says every morning when she wakes up and sits on the side of her bed is, "Thank you for another day."

 

[Faye]

Faye
Thank you,
I don't want to sound pushy, But I would love to read one of your poems someday, please post one.
My poems most times are triggered by something I heard, read, or felt. I think this poem, is a result of being a little down. The cancer treatment makes me tired. Sometimes I don't feel well, and I can't tell if it's from my age or the hormone treatment I'm getting. My wife is annoyed with me, because I want to stop treatment. Maybe I should write another poem.

Thanks. Sending link in PM and praying you can get the cancer in remission. I am still cancer free but just tired all the time with lots of nerve pains from nerve damage that just worsens with age. I use comedy to fight the blues.

 

[Tony Page]

Thanks. Sending link in PM and praying you can get the cancer in remission. I am still cancer free but just tired all the time with lots of nerve pains from nerve damage that just worsens with age. I use comedy to fight the blues.

Faye,
Finding a way to cope is a way to handle Negative & physical problems, if comedy works use it. For me it's watch a baseball game, it takes my mind off of how I feel, at least for awhile.
My Wife has neuropathy in her hands. She got it after her cancer treatment, it's terrible.

 

[Tony Page]

My main treatment clinic for my prostate cancer is Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK). The oncologist there has made arrangements and plans for my radiation treatment. They have spun off my hormone therapy to an oncologist at NY Cancer and Blood.

Today, I had my 2nd appointment at NYCAB. I've been on a hormone pill for 23 days since my last appointment. The first thing they do when you walk in the door is take a blood sample.They have all the equipment needed to analyze the blood, so when you see the doctor, your blood analysis is already available.

My blood analysis showed my platelet count decreased. Went from 200 reading 3 weeks ago to 63. I asked the doctor if it meant I had leukemia. That's what my father died from. The doctor said no, my white cells were normal. She wanted to know if I had taken antibiotics. I said no. She thinks it might be a "one of", I have an appointment in a week to check my blood again.

There's been a few things going through my mind. I've been very tired and weak since I started the hormones. Guess I shouldn't be surprised because that's one of the side effects, however if I'm having another problem, I might just cancel all treatments.

On another happier note, we're happy that my grandson is in second place in a Ranger Rick competition. He's 10 and might win money for a scholarship. My wife and I will be voting for him once a day until voting is over.

 

[Don Alaska]

My main treatment clinic for my prostate cancer is Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK). The oncologist there has made arrangements and plans for my radiation treatment. They have spun off my hormone therapy to an oncologist at NY Cancer and Blood.

Today, I had my 2nd appointment at NYCAB. I've been on a hormone pill for 23 days since my last appointment. The first thing they do when you walk in the door is take a blood sample.They have all the equipment needed to analyze the blood, so when you see the doctor, your blood analysis is already available.

My blood analysis showed my platelet count decreased. Went from 200 reading 3 weeks ago to 63. I asked the doctor if it meant I had leukemia. That's what my father died from. The doctor said no, my white cells were normal. She wanted to know if I had taken antibiotics. I said no. She thinks it might be a "one of", I have an appointment in a week to check my blood again.

There's been a few things going through my mind. I've been very tired and weak since I started the hormones. Guess I shouldn't be surprised because that's one of the side effects, however if I'm having another problem, I might just cancel all treatments.

On another happier note, we're happy that my grandson is in second place in a Ranger Rick competition. He's 10 and might win money for a scholarship. My wife and I will be voting for him once a day until voting is over.

Watch spontaneous bleeding when your platelet count is low @Tony Page. I have no idea why hormone treatment would cause that and it sounds like your oncologist was a bit puzzled by that as well. Chemotherapy can certainly reduce platelets since platelets and white cell production are sometimes related to folate activity which is blocked by several chemotherapy agents such as methotrexate.

 

[Tony Page]

Watch spontaneous bleeding when your platelet count is low @Tony Page. I have no idea why hormone treatment would cause that and it sounds like your oncologist was a bit puzzled by that as well. Chemotherapy can certainly reduce platelets since platelets and white cell production are sometimes related to folate activity which is blocked by several chemotherapy agents such as methotrexate.

I got a call from the oncologist office today, They found my B12 is low. I have to have a B12 shot once a week for the next 4 weeks, then once a month after that. My 1st shot is a week from tomorrow.

I hope that resolves my platelet issues and this tired and weak feeling I get. I remember when they found my father's platelets low, they said if he just banged his head he could die. I won't be very active until platelets are normal, if ever.

 

[Don Alaska]

I got a call from the oncologist office today, They found my B12 is low. I have to have a B12 shot once a week for the next 4 weeks, then once a month after that. My 1st shot is a week from tomorrow.

I hope that resolves my platelet issues and this tired and weak feeling I get. I remember when they found my father's platelets low, they said if he just banged his head he could die. I won't be very active until platelets are normal, if ever.

Yeah B12 can do that as well. I always forget which affects platelets first. The white count will follow downward if the deficiency is not resolved. The big problem can be small injuries turning into big ones. Did your father suffer from some kind of cancer @Tony Page ?

 

[Tony Page]

Yeah B12 can do that as well. I always forget which affects platelets first. The white count will follow downward if the deficiency is not resolved. The big problem can be small injuries turning into big ones. Did your father suffer from some kind of cancer @Tony Page ?

Yes he had Leukemia. One Sunday in 1978 he was having severe back pain.I took him to emergency. Initially they thought he had a pulled muscle, a nurse was wheeling his wheel chair to release him, when she noticed purple / red spots on his arms. I was told they were tiny ruptures. She turned him around for more testing, that's when they found the Leukemia. It all happened very fast, he passed in about 3 weeks.

 

[Marie Mallory]

As some of you know from a prior forum, I write poems. I don't consider myself a poet, I know nothing about how to write a proper poem. I did not care to learn about a noun or a pronoun or correct punctuation when in school. The same goes for writing, I just didn't pay attention.

Subjects / ideas just pop into my head in rhyme and rhythm. It can happen at any time while I sleep, drive, or eat. Once it starts, I feel compelled to write the words down.

A few days ago, a poem popped into my head just before I was heading to sleep. I wrote about half of it, and I was too tired to finish. I finish it tonight. It may not be the kind some people like, but here it is.


PRESCRIPTION FOR LIFE

I was walking down the street
Who should I meet?
A person I haven't seen in years
He was one of my peers
Can't call him a friend
We fought a lot back then
He greeted me with such a smile
The kind you get from your child
He said, "How have you been?"
I said "ok" with a grin
He said, "You're looking fine."
"lets catch-up we'll dine,"
At first, I thought no, we had nothing to talk about
However, I said yes, I had doubt
We went to a diner and sat in a booth
I don't know why, but I spilled the truth
He stayed calm but listened intently
when he spoke, it was ever so gently
My words flowed like water through a broken pipe
I couldn't help myself, I wasn't the type
I told him I was out for a walk to clear my head
The doctors said in 6 months I'd be dead
That there was nothing more they could do
He looked at me with an understanding, like he knew
I said I should go, I want to lay down
Thanks for listening, I'll see you around
As I was leaving, he handed me a note
I took it and slipped it into my coat
By the time I got home, I felt mentally at ease
I didn't give a dame about my disease
My wife asked where I went?
I told her how my time was spent
She didn’t know the fellow I met
Turns out he's someone I'll never forget
She asked what he had to say?
I thought he didn't have much to convey
She said whatever he said has helped you cope
I felt he had given me hope
I forgot he gave me that note
I rushed to my coat
Reading this document it contained a prayer
It showed he did care
It said - say this prayer once a day
Sounded like a prescription, I did obey
I say this prayer before I sleep, I tell you this with eyes that have tears
I've been saying this prayer for 11 years


TP
5/16/25

Beautiful poem Tony. And reminds us not to hold grudges, we know not what the future holds.

 

[Marie Mallory]

Tony, that poem is very thought provoking. That's one of the things that poetry is supposed to do. You did good. It leaves me wondering what the prayer is that your friend says. My sister is a breast cancer survivor. The prayer she says every morning when she wakes up and sits on the side of her bed is, "Thank you for another day."

So much synchronicity in my life, I say this every day. Was just telling my daughter about saying it this morning.

 

[Marie Mallory]

I got a call from the oncologist office today, They found my B12 is low. I have to have a B12 shot once a week for the next 4 weeks, then once a month after that. My 1st shot is a week from tomorrow.

I hope that resolves my platelet issues and this tired and weak feeling I get. I remember when they found my father's platelets low, they said if he just banged his head he could die. I won't be very active until platelets are normal, if ever.

My friend and her husband take B12 shots religiously for years now, they are in their mid and late 70s.

 

[Mary Stetler]

It sounds like you are making progress with the cancer treatment, and i am glad to hear that ! Anything you can do to help fight against the cancer , along with whatever medical treatment you get, is beneficial, I believe. Prayers for your recovery !

I really like your bird feeder with the camera ! It looks like that is a great way to enjoy watching the birds up close, without scaring them.

I do not think that i have ever been just a collector, for the purpose of having a collection; but I have gone overboard on collecting something that I had a use for. For me, it was horse tack; so I had more bridles , saddle blankets and halters than I ever needed. But I loved auction sales, and yard sales, and any kind of sales; so when I found a good deal on something I liked (and could afford) I got it.

Now that i no longer have horses, there really is nothing that I want to collect anymore; but I think that it is good that you had interests and were able to collect and save them over the years, @Tony Page .

LOL. I now have barely one horse (leased out). I still have three saddles and only one butt! And yes, a collection of tack which I haven't checked in a long time.

 

[Mary Stetler]

I received the box of vitamins in the mail today I ordered from Swanson. I spent the morning going through them and setting them up. There are a lot of pills, so I tried to set them up, so they spread throughout the day.
I already take between 10 and 12 vitamins and herbs a day. Some of the ones I set up today are the same as I've been taking, just making larger doses.
My wife thinks I'm obsessed and overdoing it. As long as I get no side effects from the pills, I'm willing to try it. If the doctor says to stop taking them during treatment, I will. I was always an experimenter. Sometimes, the results are good and sometimes not so good.
When my mother was dying from cancer, I gave her Shark cartilage when there was no other medical help. Shark cartilage at the time was touted as a possible cure for cancer. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the doses that were suggested, so I've gave her what I could afford. It didn't help, but I could see in my mother's eyes that she was happy that I thought enough to try.
I guess in the end, that's about all we can do is be positive and try.

Cancer LOVES sugar and high carbs. You could try depriving it while you wait.

 

[Yvonne Smith]

Cancer LOVES sugar and high carbs. You could try depriving it while you wait.

I have read about a lot of people doing this as well. I think that even Adele Davis talked about cancer cells needing sugar to survive. That is why the grape cure works. People fast 12 hours overnight , and then have grapes all day.
The Johanna Brandt Grape Cure says that overnight the cancer cells have no food so they are hungry. Concord grapes and seeds have several components that actually will kill cancer cells, so for 12 hours during the day, the person eats grapes.

Johanna Brandt / Fred Wortman Grape Cure For Cance

Many people also just do a keto diet which starves the cancer cells because there is no sugar/starch foods for the cancer to live on. Even though the grapes have lots of sugar and feed the cancer cells, they poison the cancer and the cells die.
It makes sense to me that along with whatever treatment a person decided to have, they would also use natural methods to kill cancer cells.

 

[Marie Mallory]

Tony hope today, ( "dinfs " problem with typos, this word is suppose to be 'finds', } you feeling better.

Sometimes, I get so frustrated with myself.
Once I look up and see all the mistakes and try to fix them I somwtimes forget what in the heck I was saying!