Axel Slingerland
Wordy Blues Rocker
This morning I woke up at 7:30a, started to get up to go to the can, but I didn't realize I was on the edge of the bed. When I swung my legs around to get up, my butt slid off the bed and down I went. Little by little, over the next hour, after trying everything I could think of to get off the floor, I scooted my way to the middle of the room. My "elevator" as I call it was in the living room.
I have this long back scratcher (which still isn't long enough at times) and I used that to get my shoes, and started throwing them at the door, thinking my son would hear that and come help me. That didn't work. Next I started banging on the door with the end of the back scratcher and that didn't work either. I tried opening the door with it, since my room has a lever on the door instead of a round knob. I got the door open.
I started yelling his name and after about 10 times I heard him say "I'm coming." He tried to help me up, but with a combination of both his and my muscle weakness (he has Cerebral Palsy), I could not get up. By this time I had been on the floor for an hour and a half. So I had him step past me and get my phone, and I called 911.
I told them that I don't need an ambulance, I just need someone to help me get up off the floor. So they get to my house and get me up. Then they want to take me to the hospital. I showed them that I was not bleeding, not hurt in anyway (except my pride), and I don't need to go to the hospital, and I told the 911 operator that. I just couldn't get up, and explained at length why.
The Captain says he wants to give me a short cognitive test. I said I did not hit my head but ok. He asked "How many quarters are in $2?" I said "Eight." Next he asked "Did you vote this year?" I said "No, but I did last year." Next up "Do you know what city you're in?" I said "Edison, but if you go west a few blocks you'll be in Bakersfield, but if you go north 600 miles on the coast you'd be in Eureka, which is what I would much rather be. This time of year the average daily temperature there is 60°" Then he said, "I can't say as I blame you there. Ok, two more questions. What year is it?" With a cheesy grin I said "1905." He gets an odd look on his face, then asked "Who is the President?" I said "Teddy Roosevelt." Still grinning I said, "Just kidding, it's 2025 and Donold Trump is President."
"So you're ok, now?" I said yes, and they left. How embarrassing!
And after two seemingly long hours, I finally got to the can...
I have this long back scratcher (which still isn't long enough at times) and I used that to get my shoes, and started throwing them at the door, thinking my son would hear that and come help me. That didn't work. Next I started banging on the door with the end of the back scratcher and that didn't work either. I tried opening the door with it, since my room has a lever on the door instead of a round knob. I got the door open.
I started yelling his name and after about 10 times I heard him say "I'm coming." He tried to help me up, but with a combination of both his and my muscle weakness (he has Cerebral Palsy), I could not get up. By this time I had been on the floor for an hour and a half. So I had him step past me and get my phone, and I called 911.
I told them that I don't need an ambulance, I just need someone to help me get up off the floor. So they get to my house and get me up. Then they want to take me to the hospital. I showed them that I was not bleeding, not hurt in anyway (except my pride), and I don't need to go to the hospital, and I told the 911 operator that. I just couldn't get up, and explained at length why.
The Captain says he wants to give me a short cognitive test. I said I did not hit my head but ok. He asked "How many quarters are in $2?" I said "Eight." Next he asked "Did you vote this year?" I said "No, but I did last year." Next up "Do you know what city you're in?" I said "Edison, but if you go west a few blocks you'll be in Bakersfield, but if you go north 600 miles on the coast you'd be in Eureka, which is what I would much rather be. This time of year the average daily temperature there is 60°" Then he said, "I can't say as I blame you there. Ok, two more questions. What year is it?" With a cheesy grin I said "1905." He gets an odd look on his face, then asked "Who is the President?" I said "Teddy Roosevelt." Still grinning I said, "Just kidding, it's 2025 and Donold Trump is President."
"So you're ok, now?" I said yes, and they left. How embarrassing!
And after two seemingly long hours, I finally got to the can...
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